B.J. Hollars

It’s award season here at the Guild, which means we’ll be bestowing five lucky individuals with “prestigious” awards the best way we know how: in the dead of night (or the dead of dawn) when the recipient least expects it. Sure, it’s nice to roll out the red carpet, but who wants to deal with all the paparazzi? And besides, nothing’s better than a surprise…

In that spirit, at 5:56a.m. this morning, Guild Director BJ Hollars surprised our first recipient, Justin Patchin, with a “Most Valuable Photographer” award. Justin, who was minding his own business in the moments before his workout at McPhee Strength and Performance Center on the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire campus, was at a loss for words.

“I’m baffled[1],” remarked Justin as he scratched his head. “So what’s happening here?”

So overcome by the honor, Justin could barely manage the pushups and jumping jacks soon to come. But by hour’s end, once the workout had reached its conclusion and the magnitude of the award began to set in, Justin took inspiration in another “famous Justin” who has a tendency to receive awards (mostly Grammy’s) in this region.

“I’ll display this award in a place that reflects its dignity and honor,” Justin proclaimed to the rest of the workout class, who seemed mostly disinterested.

Marching proudly to the nearest toilet, he placed it near the handle, the fake gold glinting off the toilet water.

A hearty congrats to Justin Patchin, who—on a more serious note—persuaded a bunch of writers of a hard truth: that pictures are worth a thousand words. Thank you, Justin, for giving us a thousand of them. Click here for more of his work. And keep your eyes wide! Maybe you’re the next recipient…

[1] Author’s note: He may have meant “flattered.”